With Effect From August 7, the company has decided to adapt to youth culture. (Link to Cellular News)
Going forward, promotions will be reflected not in titles, but through body piercings. (Genital piercings are reserved for senior executive positions only.)
Demotions will be marked by tattoos across the demotee's face (the word "loser" in Japanese script.)
Pay raises are to be dropped henceforth. Instead, employees will be rewarded with even more annoying background color-schemes for their Myspace pages.
New hires will go through an orientation in an S&M nightclub after the obligatory corporate video and a couple of tabs of E.
Exit interviews must be attended in thongs (exitee only) and upon handing over the laptop and confidential documents, exiting employee agrees to licking tequila off the HR manager's navel.