Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Elephant Ignores Diet, Vows To Hit The Gym "Soon"

Sri Lanka's most celebrated elephant, "Raja," has fallen ill after eating scores of cookies, chocolates and other rich food offered to him as part of Buddhist new year celebrations.
Speaking as a world-renowned authority on cookie-binging, I know how much it must hurt him. But heart-burning as it is, I wish they wouldn't print animal stories with sad lines like these:
At dawn Tuesday, monks found Raja writhing in pain with tears in his eyes.
It is precisely our tendency to anthropomorphize these animals that led the devotees to feeding him "homemade cookies deep fried in coconut oil, chocolates, rice cooked in thick milk and fermented slices of sweet pineapple" Next time, stick to the sugarcane and bananas, Jumbo. (Link to WaPo)

Meanwhile, O Wise One, I heartily recommend Pudin Hara, Tums and as much Seltzer water as your ginormous stomach can hold.

Do all you grown-up bloggers and blog readers know how the elephant got its trunk? I'll let Mr. Kipling tell you how. Er...can I just take the rest of week off and read Kipling?


neha vish said...

My heart goes out to Jumbo. I know exactly how he feels. It felt exactly like that when I was getting married. I was overfed all sorts of things - mostly sweet, clarified butter and coconut oil.


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