Monday, January 14, 2008

Last Night I Had The Lamest Dream

While the average person is happy being chased around by angry, three-legged cans of neon-colored soda or falling up a very deep hole on the side of one's head - in his or her dreams, of course - geniuses make good use of their downtime by working on complex problems.

Like the famous six-sided, ring-like structure of the benzene molecule which may or may not have been conceived in Kekule's dream.

Or those beautifully garbled verses in the Beatles' "Sun King" that John Lennon may or may not have "heard" in a dream.

So what did I dream about last night? A supremely awful joke: "Lassidity (rhymes with "acidity") - severe, painful heartburn caused by drinking too much salt lassi."

Waiter, some tissue please. People are shooting jets of lassi out their noses.

64 comments:

Space Bar said...

:D and when you have lassi in high summer, in the middle of the afternoon, what you get is a wonderful feeling of lassitude.

??! said...

oho - and she says she doesn't like puns!

km said...

sb: the stomach curdles.

??!: and neither do I. But I gracefully take what my dreams give me.

Space Bar said...

?!: who said i don't like puns?! i just resent that other people make them. when i think up one i consider the day seized.

km: (bad joke alert!) in that case, you can chew the curd: same feelings of bovine bliss come.

Tabula Rasa said...

i like the mental image conjured up by the last line.

classi.

km said...

TR: we aim to please.

Falstaff said...

Aargh! so many bad puns. I'd intervene, but I'm a big believer in lassiez-faire.

Oh, and sb: chew the curd? Yogurt to be kidding me.

Space Bar said...

falsie: goat-cha. i was. kidding, that is.

sheesh.

??! said...

demmit! HOW am I missing all of these? Gah.

km said...

??!: "dahi" has not yet been exploited for its rich comedic possibilities by Messrs. Falstaff et al, so go for it :)

Tabula Rasa said...

km:
so many puns... how dare you aise defile us?

km said...

TR: OK, OK, YOU WIN :D :D :D

That was wickedly clever.

Falstaff said...

km: Nah, that's whey too easy.

TR: Good one. You know, we should get all get together and have a party for making non-mainstream puns. Kind of a indie jashan.

Space Bar said...

TR: heh!

??!: your turn.

Tabula Rasa said...

thanks guys. yes, falsie - that sounds like my kind of do.

??! said...

Uh-uh, no pun I make now will be very fraiche.

km said...

??!: You were just *dying* to show us your culture, come on, admit it.

Phantasmagoria said...

Krishna didn't you have a story about a yogurt dabba with rather erm questionable contents?

Tabula Rasa said...

OH YESS!!! that was one of my ALL TIME FAVE blog stories!!! phanty, yo go gurt! :-D

km said...

PH: Actually it was a questionable dabba with yogurt content :)

TR: i bet you also hit your local mithaiwala with a "play mishty doi for me"?

Tabula Rasa said...

naah, no such luck.

Phantasmagoria said...

Excuse maadi. The brain is curdled.

Falstaff said...

km: You know, I just realized that if you combine your dream with John Lennon's you could have a dream containing garbled verses of that hit song - paperback raita.

Tabula Rasa said...

brilliant!

lekhni said...

I was going to chip in with a bad pun about lads and lassies, but I shall restrain myself. Can't think of any more angles anywhey..

dipali said...

Yogurt a nightmare?
Doesn't sound at all dahilicious, does it? Lassi if you have it again.

Falstaff said...

lekhni: No need for restraint, I assure you. Come join the party. Pretty soon we'll stop making puns and all join hands in a benzene ring and dance the chaach-a.

??! said...

falsie:
Hey, if we're talking about songs, let's not forget that other classic - "Kadhi, kadhi, mere dil mein..."

Tabula Rasa said...

falsie:
i like the idea of joining hands in this pun-fest. lactose not be intolerant.

lekhni said...

What, Falsie, you really want "more"?
(Tam for majjige/mosaru/buttermilk)

Space Bar said...

Curdammit! This is getting to be mor fun!

??! said...

sb:
Isn't it just? You guys are such doodhs.

km said...

so how come this wild crowd's so kind to Little Miss Muffet?

dipali said...

In what whey are we kind,km?

Tabula Rasa said...

so how come this wild crowd's so kind to Little Miss Muffet?

what, krishna, this gopi fallen out of favor?

km said...

yeah, the chick was majorly obsessed with tuffets.

Falstaff said...

TR: Just so. ya, let's not be.

??!: Surely you mean "Khoya khoya chaand"?

km: Now, now, no need to malain the poor girl's reputation. That's positively creaminal.

Falstaff said...

P.S. I'm SO tempted to start on cheeses. Just think of the options

km said...

Falstaff: Golden Rule of the InterTubes: Thou shalt not post Python videos during working hours, lest the productivity drops below zero.

And malain? Nice touch :)

Now go and...er..cut some cheese jokes.

//KHOYA KHOYA Chand - Wallace and Gromit would be proud.

scraps said...

:)

Lets start the transition, shall we? Ummm...waiter, more of that cheese curds, please!

Falstaff said...

km: My bad. From now on I shall only post videos of myself. Cameraman, pan eer.

km said...

Wait, Falstaff, are you shooting your masterpiece "ek cheddar maili si"?

scraps said...

ram ram, km, nothing cheesy please!

km said...

Sorry yaar, Scraps, maine joke ekdam fetafat likha tha.

scraps said...

km, yaar, aap ka blog, aap rahe big cheese. hum to rahe lactose intolerant! lekin, lage raho!

mozza aa rella hai, baap!

Phantasmagoria said...

Brielliant.

Falstaff said...

Sigh.

Okay, first of all, if we have to make jokes about music, can it at least be decent music. Like something of Keb Mo's? Or Ella?

Second, you realize what we've done here, yes? We've entered a realm wens leydale gouda can come. Already you've got Space Bar demanding that this post be red leicester entries go unnoticed. And the fire can only spread. Soon every amateur punner, every below par mesan of the witty word, every cyclopean Flaubert or Gorgon Zola, will flock hither, till it will be left to those of us who are true masters of the Kraft, to prov olone the to and fro mage-ic of the well made pun. In short, you've created a munster. Ah, well, too late to cancoillette now I suppose. We shall just have to see it through till the bitter end, till the last spark is spent and all that's left of the fire is cam emberts.

Falstaff said...

P.S. See, that's how jokes sati-ric otta be written. You don't hit them one at a time, you hit them all in a mass Capone style execution.

Falstaff said...

...with a Tomme gun, for instance. Dammit, if I keep this up I'm going to be one il chester.

Space Bar said...

Falstaff: you malai-n me...who'll notice my meagre contributions with all your fondue ones?

And, you know, no one might stay to put in their Tupi-nce. They'll just cheese it, like.

Tabula Rasa said...

wow, falsie's really milking it.

Falstaff said...

SB: True. You're not going to hold this against me, are you? You must rise above it all. As though you had stilts on.

scraps said...

Whoa! Ksheerfuffle!

Falstaff said...

scraps: Nice. Do you buy these puns at the market or gru yere own?

scraps said...

hey! whats with the confrontational scene out here?

??! said...

holy cow! The puns are still being churned out?

Phantasmagoria said...

Cantal call it quits. This is getting Corni-sh.

km said...

??!: Yes they are and the output easily puts dairy farmers in Wisconsin to shame.

Falsie: you left out good old Havarti. No soup for you.

scraps: confrontational scene? Where? When? How? I thought this was more like Woodstock, only with dairy products instead of brown acid and rain and mud and naked people.

PH: Ha. You will have first to pry the keyboard from our cold, dead fingers.

Tabula Rasa said...

make that cold, dead, hole-ridden fingers.

km said...

TR: you are scaring the little ones here....

blackmamba said...

aww! has lactobacillus left the building?

I am sure, y'all can ferment some more.

km said...

blackmamba: keepin' an eye on the expiration date?

shyam said...

Kadhi kadhi mera dil dhadke - some mor puns, please!

varali said...

Do I need parmesan to post here?