Monday, January 22, 2007

But Honey, Sloth And Pomposity Are My Winning Qualities!

It's Saturday evening and there's nothing going on.

"You want to do something?", I ask her. She just swooshes past me, rolls up her sleeves and pitches tent at the basecamp of that Mount Everest of dishes. Ah, so that's what we are doing tonight.

I desperately look around, trying to think of something to do to avoid the, huh, dreaded invitation. I run to the guitar before she can say "can you help me?"

We have a rule around here. If I am with my guitar, I must not be disturbed. Over the years the rule has been amended to cover other situations such as when I am holding a book, a remote, a CD or even just a block of air. But the guitar comes first.

A Niagara-sized waterfall of relief crashes over me. Wife sees I am "busy" and doesn't ask me to pitch in. I am safe! I have successfully invoked Diplomatic Immunity From Housework before she called me.

Realizing my good fortune, I at once start chopping away at a messy thicket of guitar chords, when what song should occur to me but CCR's "Don't Look Now (It Ain't You or Me)".

There I was, singing "Who will work the field with his hands/Who will put his back to the plough?". And there she was, loading up the dishwasher.

I made a mental note of the irony of the situation, filed it under "to be blogged later" and buried the guilt alive.

I then switched to playing S&G's "Flowers Never Bend". And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how one continues to continue.

12 comments:

neha vish said...

Lol! Do they send you chaps off to "evading" school? Over here, it's "reading the news".

Dishes. Sigh.

Ph said...

May the sky fall on my head and may I burn in hell. But when I am 'writing' the man will not disturb me. :(

MockTurtle said...

Lucky you. I have no housework free zone. "THROW OUT THE GARBAGE!!" trumps everything.

km said...

MT: Maybe you just haven't yet perfected the "serious artist in the zone" look?

Ph said...

LOL. I love that response to MT. Maybe we ought to write a handbook?

km said...

ph: You're on.

"Pretending Artists' Guide To Chore Evasion Without Guilt" is a lousy title, though. You got anything cleverer?

Alok said...

Lol! I see married life isn't that bad :)

km said...

Alok: Married life is *awesome*. But if women could see the beauty in living with lazy pigs, it would be awesome squared.

Tabula Rasa said...

drat, i see i missed a good thread. here are a couple of suggestions for titles:
- the idiot's guide to goofing off
- dodging for dummies

and a question about the parting note:
And that ... is how one continues to continue
... "to pretend"?

:-D

km said...

TR, you pereceptive fox :D Pretension is the key to happiness.

km said...

Is today the bad spelling day? I meant PerCEPTIVE.

Anonymous said...

Willingly I accept. The question is interesting, I too will take part in discussion. I know, that together we can come to a right answer.