Tuesday, November 22, 2005

How to Win the Desi Pundit Slogan Contest and Influence People

First Blogger to Second Blogger (whispers):
"Dude, that's the blogger who won the Desi Pundit Slogan Contest"

Second Blogger (craning his neck to catch a better glimpse):
No way!

First Blogger:
Way!

Second Blogger:
But..but...he looks just like US!

Flash bulbs popping. Screams, catcalls, whistles. The two bloggers try to duck under the velvet rope.

A HUGE BALD BOUNCER stretches out his muscular, tattooed arms and grabs the two men by their necks.

CUT TO

A tuxedoed blogger (or an off-the-shoulder, Versace-gowned lady blogger..)
making the acceptance speech, then jumping into a black, shiny stretch-limo to get to a computer to blog about the awesome prize-giving ceremony, about the celebrity bloggers in attendance and why Amit Varma has finally decided to enable comments - in his real-life conversations (just kidding, pardner..)

Yeah, the Slogan Contest is that cool.

A glance at the comments section on that sticky indicates that janta has got off to a flying start. They are busy polishing their rhyming skills, replacing well-known product slogans with the words "Desi Pundit" and even suggesting design ideas.

Only one problem. There are way too many similar-sounding slogans out there. Differentiation can be your best friend.

So why not try something really different? Like an anti-marketing angle, the negative psychology trick. For instance, a slogan like

"Because Desi Baba Is No More"
"We Suck Less Than IIPM"
"ToI Thinks We Are Great!"
"#2 in a field of 1"

is sure to stick longer in the panelists' minds than just puns involving the words "Blog", "Desi", "Pundit" and "India".

Slogans like "Hamara Blogistan", "Hum Blog", "Blogz By Sand Niggaz" are all awfully obvious. As are word-plays involving India's population ("One Billion Served"), spoofs of Bollywood titles ("Kyonki Main Blog Nahin Karta") and plain lies ("DP: Serving Tasty Blogs Since 1857")

On the off-chance that you can't come up with anything catchy, try bribing. Cash, iPod Nanos, DSLR cameras or an Ivy league education for the panelists' children. Try it. You will be surprised by the response!

Should they turn down your kind offer, use threats and intimidation. Send them scary emails. Like the ones that begin: "Hi! I have a new blog with pictures of my cat"

If gifts, sticks and stones don't get you the coveted prize, then, my dear friend, you will just learn to live with the bitter taste of failure.

Better still, open that bottle of Chivas you got for your imaginary Thanksgiving dinner, take 6 fast shots and blog about your hangover. You know whom to tip-off about that fine post, right?

4 comments:

Patrix said...

Loved this :)You should have sent in an entry.

km said...

Glad you liked it, bro.

happy thanksgiving.

km

Sunny said...

Haha!! That was funny...

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