Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Chiku Chronicles Continue...

Remember Act 1, in which the hero spoke about how his vacation involved lots of food and odd news stories? Well, that Act ended rather poorly with the protagonist coming down with stomach ache, fever and chills. However, and this is the dramatic conflict of the story, so pay attention, people around him grossly misdiagnosed the situation with a "illi neeru indu abhyaasa illa" (he's not used to the water here.) The hero was ashamed. He was once again branded an outsider. Then he grew worried. What if he died of bloating and flatulence? Sure, life stinks, but death by gaseousness stinks worse.

Now, Act 2 should have been a short, humorous sequence involving a funny-looking physician, some bizarre side-effects produced by bad medicine etc followed by an emotional Act 3 in which the hero's mother comes to the rescue of her son, thanks to her decades' long experience with her "boy's" stomach's workings. "WE ARE LOSING HIM! Give me a scalpel, some pudin hara and a gulab jamun."

Alas. Act 2, the bane of all screenplays, turned out exactly like Act 2 in all bad films. Nothing happened. OK, the hero was put on a starvation diet for a day, but what's the comic potential in that? And what about Act 3? It involved the mother dragging her son to a Hungarian film. Mind you, no hugs and kisses, no "mera raja beta, thoda aur kha", but "it's an Istvan Szabo film...I don't want to miss it".


To the chiku-seller who sold me TWO kilos of hard, unripe, sour chikus: Dude, WTF?


Space Bar said...

you ate TWO kilos of unripe chikoos?! what? you couldn't wait till they ripened?!

your mother was totally right to watch the szabo. (which one was it? so much envy is happening.)

??! said...

You obviously did not recognise subtle Zen teaching in chikuwalla's act...sabar ka phal and all that. He is gyaani. Go find, and charan catching.

Also, must wrap in paper and keep. Ripens in 2-3 days.

Phantasmagoria said...

I will have you know, two months in the desh and absolutely no problems with food and drink. I laugh in the face of your NRI-ness. (Its an evil laugh too).

km said...

space bar and ??!: give me *some* credit. I ate only a kilo of them stones before realization struck. That's when the chikus were wrapped up and all.

ph: you mean my Bisleri bottle, iPod, sparkling white sneakers and fake twang don't add to my coolness? So how've you been?