Monday, May 22, 2006

Terrorist Number 1

A pen may or may not be mightier than the sword, but it sure is stinkier than one.

"Terrorists have been communicating with one another in an innovative way - writing letters with urine-filled pens"...."Text written with urine cannot be read with the naked eye, but it can be seen under an infra-red lamp or ultra-violet rays"

Urine-filled pens? Sheer genius! (Note to self: check with broker if it is time to short ink companies' stocks.)

But how did these men first discover this unique method of transmitting messages? Was it trial and error? Let's try gin, no, doesn't work, ok, how about coconut water, too much work, plain water? bad idea, ok, let me just piss into my 100-dollar Mont Blanc. Perfect.

What about terrorists with wee-wee anxiety? Do they "borrow"? And how do these guys "aim"? I have enough trouble aiming into a toilet bowl with a 12-inch opening. Is that the admission test for new recruits? "Want to join? Ok, stand in line and fill up this Parker." (Gloves and hand-soap must be selling at a premium in that terrorist camp, I bet.)

And what happens when the inspiration to send out a message strikes and the pen just doesn't work? Happens all the time, right? Do they shake their pens and send "ink" flying all over the walls and their books? Nib-licking, I assume, is not a done thing either?

This revelation brought to you by courtesy of Hindustan Times, via


Pareshaan said...

Urine filled Pens....Urine filled...that is some insane shit right there!

neha vish said...


Yuck! Yuck! There goes the tradition of last day of school - when people write on each other's shirts. Yuck!

km said...

Neha, it gives the phrase "golden words" a whole new meaning.

Pareshaan, "insane shit"? Never mind, it's an obvious joke.

Bidi-K said...

modified that song post.. let me know if the translation is too confusing, did it in a hurry.

km said...

bidi-k, thanks *so* much. I am off to line up the song in napster again :)

GhostOfTomJoad said...

I'm just wondering how on earth no postman has ever detected foul play! B'cos, for sure, letters written with the said 'ink', if you must call it that, must stink to high heavens.


Bidi-K said...

if you don't get it in napster, i have it in mp3 format that i can send you :)

Tabula Rasa said...

so who apart from osama gets to use royal blue?

km said...

TR, I am told The Bearded One uses Camel Ink. AAARGGGH. Puerile.

Ghost, they must do what lovesick school kids do: spray perfume on the letter and mail it out?

Tabula Rasa said...

i was told camel was pure oil :-D

Happy-Go-Lucky said...

Seriously, How did these guys "invent" this?

In schools when we ran out of ink, used to shake it and when even that fails, we borrow from the guy sitting next to us. Well thats definitely not an option here!

Looks like guys just search for funny headlines. Or are all headlines funny these days? Just yesterday I blogged about some of those I found in yesterday's news.

GuNs said...

I bet their recruitment form has a field that says 'Minimum pen diameter successfully aimed at'.

Weirdos !! They also passed messages encoded in images and some stuff like that. These guysdo everything from high-tech to extreme low-tech. Geez, if they only used these brains for good purposes, we'd have a peaceful world !


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