Saw You Later, Alligator

Thanks to the tropical storm in Australia, mankind has finally found the answer to an age-old puzzler: If a 14.5-foot crocodile and a chainsaw fought each other, who would win?

Atta boy, Brutus. Now go back to improving your shining tail.

(First one to point out that the alligator and the crocodile are different creatures will be asked to read the Opal Mehta book. The "unedited" version. Aloud. Twice.)