Saturday, January 02, 2010

Happy New Year? My Foot.

Oh isn't *this* turning out to be a happy new year already.

I spent nearly 3 hours in an emergency room on January 1. My left foot was red, bruised and swollen. "You've fractured your fifth metatarsal", the doctor said to me. (Thank goodness it wasn't the third metatarsal, my all-time favorite metatarsal. Clearly, the funny bone's been smashed too, har har.)

The good part about the accident is that I no longer have to worry about going to the gym or showering daily for the next four weeks. Food, beverages and reading material are all magically appearing by my side. The TV remote is mine and mine only. The bad part is getting used to crutches. And getting in and out of the car. And negotiating stairs. And brushing teeth while balancing on one leg. But man, the crutches, they just kill.

Funny, just the other day I complained about 2009 going too fast. Now I can't wait for time to go faster so the fracture can heal and I can walk freely again (or just wiggle my toes.)

17 comments:

Rahul Siddharthan said...

Oh wow. Get well soon.

From Wikipedia, "The fifth metatarsal bone is recognized by a rough eminence..." would that be Dylan?

Falstaff said...

Dude. When one suggested getting plastered for the New Year this is not what one meant.

Get well soon. And in the meantime, milk it for all it's worth.

Space Bar said...

oh dairy me. here we go again.

Zeba said...

First I was LOLing on your post. But then even on the comments! Haha.

Get well soon!

FĂ«anor said...

happy new year, km. discard those crutches. you don't need them. believe in the Lord, and discard those crutches. you will walk again.

km said...

Feanor: "He's so happy he's crying""

Zeba: Thanks, and please don't encourage these commenters. They are a heartless bunch.

SB: Here we go again. Ouch. Sorry. Can't go. Anywhere. *Sob*.

Falstaff: Thanks. Now please write some mind-bending stuff as an accompaniment for the painkillers (strictly non-narcotic; bummer)

Rahul: The Fifth Metatarsal shall henceforth be referred to as the Dylan. (That will make for an interesting conversation with the ortho doctor on Monday. "I broke my Dylan, doctor". "I suggest you walk on your Cohens for the next 6 weeks")

wildflower seed said...

The wood of the wind,
A cliff, a fall,
A scratch, a lump,
It is nothing at all

And the river bank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of the strain,
The joy in your heart

Seriously, this East Coast weather demands that you stay home. :)

Lekhni said...

I see the joke about limping into the New Year has not been made yet. Or about how you would be starting the year, right foot forward.

km said...

Lekhni: Must. Avoid. Jokes :)

WFS: "Waters of March" in January? Jeez, this weather...

Tabula Rasa said...

ouch. i had a rough few days too, mainly involving my offspring. and i guess you're not springing off anywhere either.

km said...

TR: Hope the little one's feeling better now (as are her springers)?

MockTurtle said...

Sorry to hear that. Wishing you a speedy recovery and a happy new year.
Also, maybe its time you made a few pun-challenged friends.

Szerelem said...

Ouch. Get well soon!!! And make the most of the bed rest to blog more?

km said...

MT: They've been admirably restrained so far. So yeah, no bone to pick with this crowd.

Szerelem: Thanks! And speaking of posting more.....

Space Bar said...

km: so long as you don't pick the 5th mt with us, we promise to spring no surprises on you.

blackmamba said...

ouch! I am going to assume you had enough fun to warrant a broken Dylan.

Hoping it involved some Big Lebowski style high crime..

--
Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There
are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...

Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

km said...

BM: yes, enough fun to last a whole year. Sadly, no toes or rugs or Nihilists were hurt in the making.

SB: Just when I thought it was safe to go into the water....