Just Checking In To See What Condition My Condition Is In

We gave thanks exceedingly well last night. As a "you are welcome", I get a supremely bitter, nasty, spikes-through-the-skull hangover. I can probably set fire to things by just looking at them.

My neural circuitry is so badly affected that I can actually see individual molecules of Time. When these molecules are not daisy-chained to one another, as they are in the course of a normal day, there is no Cause, there is no Effect. There's only I.

I am walking - make that gliding through ether - at the rate of three half-formed thoughts per step.

Have you ever turned around and come face-to-face with yourself?

The kettle is on the stove, but there's no water in the kettle. So to set things right, I pour as much water outside the kettle as I pour into it. FML.

A slab of butter, a knife and a loaf of bread have been neatly laid out on the kitchen counter. I've also pulled out a box of cereal, a banana and a pineapple. A jar of peanut butter and some cake too. I know I am supposed to do *something* but I am not sure what or how.

That's all. I'm checking out.