The tight stockings are just to relieve the "ankle swelling in long-haul flights". (Link goes to Yahoo India page.)
TR, I hope you are paying attention.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Put Down That Rattle And Tell Me About Van Der Waals Force, Son
Everywhere I go I am told - usually by young parents - that "today's generation of kids is so much brighter and smarter". This claim is followed by evidence that involves their precious and his or her precocious mastery over some electronic gadget, almost always the TV remote. Exhibit A is then followed by vigorous head-nodding by everyone at the dinner table. The topic is deemed to have been satisfactorily concluded when one of the diners makes this profound observation: "when we were at that age, we were *so* clueless".
I don't know about you, but I am getting tired of this talk. For two very good reasons. One, it is so not true and two, because it is utterly false, man.
Our generation (well, technically not my generation. I am from the "between the 8-track and the Cassette" generation) mastered the Sony Walkman whose interface and operation so much more complex than an iPod - another gadget that often pops up as Exhibit A in this discussion. We wrote unmassive single-player non-role playing non-games like "Hello World" on the C64 computer which, if you recall, had no mouse and let me tell you mommy, that's too much for little Einstein. When we wanted entertainment, we had something called a "shortwave radio" which involved - gasp - sitting and listening to a song for a full 45 seconds. Times were hard and our minds sharp.
But I am not here to discuss each generation's gadget-fu or to argue over which generation is more intelligent. My rant here is about the message implicit in the Young Parent's Claim. Because when you extrapolate the thing backwards (or forwards), you arrive at conclusions that go against everything we know about Mankind. Here's why.
I distinctly remember *my* mother making several Young Parent Claims about me to her friends. I fully agree with her, but come on. If every generation were more intelligent than the preceding one, wouldn't that make us all a bunch of idiots compared to the Class of 2058? Ooh, look, little Pappu made a working prototype of the teleportation chamber using mashed potatoes and Similac!
Or, if you take this argument backwards, it just means the Early Man was not very smart. Is that so? Agriculture? Fire? Clubbing neighbor to death with a branch of a tree? Hello!
What I am saying is, we were not that much smarter or dumber tens of thousands of years ago. Nor will we be much smarter or dumber tens of thousands of years from now. We will always be who we are: a bored, distracted, violent species with unwavering belief in its abilities and wisdom.
All right, one last point. when CaveMoms gathered around a fire and chatted (engraved?) about how "little Gwggrr has grown opposable thumbs!" or how their 1-year old daughter knows how to read the sundial, that should have been the first and last time anyone had to endure "the kids these days are so clever!" at a dinner party.
I don't know about you, but I am getting tired of this talk. For two very good reasons. One, it is so not true and two, because it is utterly false, man.
Our generation (well, technically not my generation. I am from the "between the 8-track and the Cassette" generation) mastered the Sony Walkman whose interface and operation so much more complex than an iPod - another gadget that often pops up as Exhibit A in this discussion. We wrote unmassive single-player non-role playing non-games like "Hello World" on the C64 computer which, if you recall, had no mouse and let me tell you mommy, that's too much for little Einstein. When we wanted entertainment, we had something called a "shortwave radio" which involved - gasp - sitting and listening to a song for a full 45 seconds. Times were hard and our minds sharp.
But I am not here to discuss each generation's gadget-fu or to argue over which generation is more intelligent. My rant here is about the message implicit in the Young Parent's Claim. Because when you extrapolate the thing backwards (or forwards), you arrive at conclusions that go against everything we know about Mankind. Here's why.
I distinctly remember *my* mother making several Young Parent Claims about me to her friends. I fully agree with her, but come on. If every generation were more intelligent than the preceding one, wouldn't that make us all a bunch of idiots compared to the Class of 2058? Ooh, look, little Pappu made a working prototype of the teleportation chamber using mashed potatoes and Similac!
Or, if you take this argument backwards, it just means the Early Man was not very smart. Is that so? Agriculture? Fire? Clubbing neighbor to death with a branch of a tree? Hello!
What I am saying is, we were not that much smarter or dumber tens of thousands of years ago. Nor will we be much smarter or dumber tens of thousands of years from now. We will always be who we are: a bored, distracted, violent species with unwavering belief in its abilities and wisdom.
All right, one last point. when CaveMoms gathered around a fire and chatted (engraved?) about how "little Gwggrr has grown opposable thumbs!" or how their 1-year old daughter knows how to read the sundial, that should have been the first and last time anyone had to endure "the kids these days are so clever!" at a dinner party.
Friday, January 18, 2008
When Party Animals Go Wild...
Three victims of a tiger attack at a city zoo taunted the animal moments before it struck, killing one of the men, court documents have revealed. Full story.
***
How to taunt a tiger:
1. "Ever heard of the dead cat bounce theory?"
2. "So...how's the move to the zoo working out?"
3. "Does your neighbor still fling feces at you?"
4. "I think that would make a great rug"
Remember kids, if these don't provoke the tiger, there's always the ever-reliable:
5. "Here, kitty kitty"
***
Can someone tell me how waving at a tiger could be construed - by the tiger, of course - as "taunting"? Hmm? Being a bit touchy, aren't we, Tatiana?
***
How to taunt a tiger:
1. "Ever heard of the dead cat bounce theory?"
2. "So...how's the move to the zoo working out?"
3. "Does your neighbor still fling feces at you?"
4. "I think that would make a great rug"
Remember kids, if these don't provoke the tiger, there's always the ever-reliable:
5. "Here, kitty kitty"
***
Can someone tell me how waving at a tiger could be construed - by the tiger, of course - as "taunting"? Hmm? Being a bit touchy, aren't we, Tatiana?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Astrid Kirchherr - Interview
Terry Gross interviews Astrid Kirchherr on "Fresh Air" today. You can listen to the full interview here. Fun stuff.
Ms. Kirchherr's comments towards the end of the interview come as a bit of a surprise. Apparently, the artist who shot all those now-iconic pictures of the Beatles just gave up photography after the 1960s because she wasn't sure if it was her talent or her subject that made her famous!
Ms. Kirchherr's comments towards the end of the interview come as a bit of a surprise. Apparently, the artist who shot all those now-iconic pictures of the Beatles just gave up photography after the 1960s because she wasn't sure if it was her talent or her subject that made her famous!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Last Night I Had The Lamest Dream
While the average person is happy being chased around by angry, three-legged cans of neon-colored soda or falling up a very deep hole on the side of one's head - in his or her dreams, of course - geniuses make good use of their downtime by working on complex problems.
Like the famous six-sided, ring-like structure of the benzene molecule which may or may not have been conceived in Kekule's dream.
Or those beautifully garbled verses in the Beatles' "Sun King" that John Lennon may or may not have "heard" in a dream.
So what did I dream about last night? A supremely awful joke: "Lassidity (rhymes with "acidity") - severe, painful heartburn caused by drinking too much salt lassi."
Waiter, some tissue please. People are shooting jets of lassi out their noses.
Like the famous six-sided, ring-like structure of the benzene molecule which may or may not have been conceived in Kekule's dream.
Or those beautifully garbled verses in the Beatles' "Sun King" that John Lennon may or may not have "heard" in a dream.
So what did I dream about last night? A supremely awful joke: "Lassidity (rhymes with "acidity") - severe, painful heartburn caused by drinking too much salt lassi."
Waiter, some tissue please. People are shooting jets of lassi out their noses.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Ms. Amonkar, May I Suggest A Better Search Engine?
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Drunk Guy Walks Into A Cyber Cafe
Happy 2008, all. Thanks to my very tight drinking schedule in India, I have not been able to respond to some of your comments. Awfully rude, I know, but typing under so much influence is hard even for an accomplished typer-under-influence like me.
Anyway, here's something that will make you smile. Yes sir, 2% of India's GDP will go towards healthcare. That's up from 1%.
---
The countdown to the flight back home has begun. A few days more, that's all. Mom's in a state of panic and depression already. "Can't you extend your stay?" Must. Not. Make. Eye contact. So I look down at my shoelaces. Those are some *awesome* shoeslaces, man. "Can't you just return?" I run out of the room, pretending to be interested in the test match playing on the TV. Breaks my goddamn heart, that question.
I used to have a well-prepared speech on Why I Can't Return. It was arrogant shit, plain and simple. It required a certain sneer for effective delivery, but it worked. Only now the thing doesn't work anymore. So if you have one that works, I would be very interested in hearing it.
Anyway, here's something that will make you smile. Yes sir, 2% of India's GDP will go towards healthcare. That's up from 1%.
---
The countdown to the flight back home has begun. A few days more, that's all. Mom's in a state of panic and depression already. "Can't you extend your stay?" Must. Not. Make. Eye contact. So I look down at my shoelaces. Those are some *awesome* shoeslaces, man. "Can't you just return?" I run out of the room, pretending to be interested in the test match playing on the TV. Breaks my goddamn heart, that question.
I used to have a well-prepared speech on Why I Can't Return. It was arrogant shit, plain and simple. It required a certain sneer for effective delivery, but it worked. Only now the thing doesn't work anymore. So if you have one that works, I would be very interested in hearing it.
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