Once You Go Black...

Image from a photoshop contest.

Dear Spammer, Always Remember to Use The Active Voice

You know your inner Grammar Nazi has reached its full potential when receiving spam email bothers you less than receiving spam email riddled with typos and grammatical errors (and you seriously consider writing back with corrections).

Which is why I applaud that Nigerian prince in exile who emails me every week - such impeccable language! That, and his convincing business proposition make his emails so much more credible.

Holy, Crap

A most unfortunate juxtaposition seen while driving through a small Southern town:

Arrow-shaped sign nailed to the trunk of a tree: "Church - all are welcome".
Sign planted in the ground at the base of the tree: "Free manure".

Go Man Go

One the one hand, it's starting to smell funky and the flesh is turning a disturbingly deep shade of black. On the other hand, it is a mango.

Oh, the decisions.

We're Not Dead Yet. That's All.

If I hear one more painfully obvious* Rapture/Judgement Day joke on the radio, TV or the Internet today (or ever), I swear I will go postal.

* Making a reference to that REM song title is just as serious a crime.

No Need To Imagine. There *Is* No Heaven.

"In a dismissal that underlines his firm rejection of religious comforts, Britain's most eminent scientist said there was nothing beyond the moment when the brain flickers for the final time."

Well, the good news is that Hawking did not dismiss the existence of the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus.

But why didn't Hawking explicitly dismiss the existence of Hell? What if there's no Heaven but only a Hell? What if everyone goes to Hell? No, wait, that will make Hell just like earth, except with better heating and more interesting roommates.

The Girl In The Picture

Remember this picture?

NYT has a front-page feature on Samar Hassan, the blood-splattered girl in the photograph. She's now twelve, a school dropout and is still traumatized by the death of her parents.

The story just breaks your heart.

We voted for a change. We voted so that fucking sham of a war would come to an end. But it's 2011 and we are still merrily creating more Samar Hassans. How is that acceptable?