You Didn't Tell Us! We Did Too!

I know this must have scared that little bag of pretzels out of the crew and passengers, and for someone who flies as much as I do, I shouldn’t be joking about these things, but this catastrophic “near-miss” is funny.

Reminds me of the time I “launched” a few rockets one Diwali night, directly into some very dry bushes and forgot to inform my neighbor about the “test”. (This was awfully funny considering that those dry bushes were on the neighbor’s property and one of them erupted into a blaze.)

So, yeah, India’s rocket scientists are all “It’s Diwali night, man!” and the Indonesian airline is all “behenchod, sara ghar jala dega”.

Sex And Salvation

Drunken blogging. Pure genius. I remember saying the exact same thing about "stoned band practice".

So my boss tells me over a large Sapporo, "dude, you're all business all the time" and I feel insulted. How could I - *I* - be *all business* and this guy with a permanent bluetooth earpiece be not all business? Why is he calling me "dude"? And am I really all business all the time? And why is that bottle of Sapporo looking so big? And why am I all business all the time? And why is the Asian girl taking so long to get my next Sapporo? What if we could replace this slow human interface with a touch-screen interface with one large icon in the middle of the screen? A big, brown, happy bottle of Sapporo, naturally.

Compensation drives behavior. I vaguely remember someone telling me this several beers ago. I can't quite recall how or why we got to that topic.

Not only is CNN more moronic than we think, it is more moronic than we can think. JBS Haldane said that. The idiots are running a special feature called "What is a Christian" and for some reason, they are interviewing people attending a porn de-addiction camp run by a church. The documentary is subtitled "Sex and Salvation". A very large Sapporo, please.

To the Irish lady who asked me about India's caste system: There is no caste in India - I repeat, NO CASTE - with a Yellow Labrador as its mascot. I'm sorry but large Sapporo make Indian man shit bulls.

BTW, my buddy Scout has drafted me into her little army of drunks. (Regiment icon: a pickled liver) As cameos go, that's a pretty good cameo. The pay is terrible, but like any flasher will tell you, it's all about the exposure...

And finally, a beautiful quote:

" "

Atlas Drugged

Are you reading Atlas Drugged? If not, you should be.

They Don't Just Sell Books, You Know?

"Peru to bomb Amazon cocaine labs"

Free shipping on orders over $25.

Grindhouse

Oh yeah!

(link to Variety, via Drudge)

A Messiah, Yes, But Very Fatty

The Religion Police always looks out for us. (Link to the Guardian)

You're going to love this quote:

Bill Donahue, president of the Catholic League, said the work was a direct assault on Christians. "All those involved are lucky that angry Christians don't react the way extremist Muslims do when they're offended."

At least not yet, Bill.

It Was A Hands-Off Workshop, I Assure You

The meeting's going very well.

I am feeling unusually confident and articulate.

I know exactly where these bozos are going wrong.

I use fearsome phrases like "But Bob, this is a process in evolution" and "for the sake of team focus, let's not get drawn into a discussion on semantics and meta-processes".

I am bursting with ideas, solutions, alternatives and inputs.

I know I can build consensus and help steer the group in the right direction.


I look down and find that I have attended a meeting with my fly wide open.