Are these the worst lyrics of all time? (link to India Uncut, this one goes directly to the Phoenix article.)
While I would not argue with some of the choices ("My Humps" is terrible), some are odd ("Glory Days") while a few are too obvious ("Wannabe")
But what puzzled me most was that the list contains only ONE hair-rock song ("Cherry Pie" - hardly the worst, I assure you.) Don't you think the genre deserves a fairer representation?
Like W.A.S.P's "I Wanna Be Somebody". This song sounded like pure taradiddle to me even at the age of 16. "I will live in fame and die in flames/I'm never gettin' old"? Just look at Blackie Lawless's life: he is NOT living in fame, he HAS escaped death in flames and he is getting old. Or Bon Jovi's "Wanted (Dead Or Alive)": A "steel horse" I ride? Hanson's "Mmm-Bop" was at least silly but what can you say about Poison's "Unskinny Bop"? "Unskinny bop/nothin' more to say".
Then there are The Scorpions. There are way too many songs in their oeuvre. Notable mentions: "Holiday" (in which the singer offers his services as a travel agent) and "Bad Boys Running Wild" (with its healthcare warning: "Dirty rats are on their way!") And remember "Armageddon it" by Def Leppard (who deserve a list all of their own): "Yeah, but are you gettin' it? - Armageddon it!"
Judas Priest went synth for one brief, lustreless moment in their career. The result was "Turbo Lover": "Wrapped in horsepower, driving into fury/ Changing gear I pull you tighter to me". Staggeringly awful. Now read a semi-scholarly analysis of Turbo Lover here.
Why no mention of Ronnie James Dio, who's baffled us long with lyrics like "Ride the tiger/You can see his stripes but you know he's clean" ("Holy Diver")? Of course, Dio is utterly convincing and entertaining even when singing pure tripe like "Man On The Silver Mountain". Which brings us to this universal rule - any band that sings of faeries, goblins, witches and wizards deserves at least two spots each on this list.
Since every rock list must start and end with the Beatles, I say this list's #1 choice should have been Paul's "My love don't give me presents/I know that she's no peasant".
BTW, what's the worst lyric Dylan has ever written? My vote's on "My love she speaks like silence/without ideals or violence" (it's also a song I love dearly)